Grandma

I wish to share my granddaughter’s eulogy for Patty. It was special. I would like more people to hear her words. I love it.

Hi, my name is Avi and I am Patty’s granddaughter. I just wanted to start off by saying another thank you all for coming here today as we celebrate my grandma. As I am looking out right now I see some unfamiliar faces but knowing you have all come here today tells me everything I need to know, which is that my grandma has made an impact in your life in some way or another. Some of you may have known her as mom, grandma or bama as I should say because I guess i’m the only one that called her grandma, you also may have known her as Mary Praticia, or to the majority of you here today as Patty. I decided I wanted to give this speech just last week. I have never truly experienced grief on this level so I have found myself shutting down, trying to block out the sadness but by doing so I didn’t allow myself to think about all of the good. As today came closer and closer I allowed myself to feel and remember and because the person my grandma was that brought more joy than sadness. Grandma was my best friend, my rock, the person I would always want to go to. My grandma and grandpa moved their whole lives around for me. People have told me how much my grandma didn’t want to be one of those grandparents who only see on holidays and how she wanted to actually be a part of my life and that is exactly what she did. Grandma and Grandpa moved pretty much just up the street from my childhood home and although for a while they were back and forth from Minnesota, my grandma spent a majority of her time in Vermont even when grandpa was back in Minnesota for work. Since my mom and dad are not together whenever it was my dad's week with me and he was out of town for work I would spend it at grandma’s as well as any other times I could because sleepovers at grandmas were my favorite thing. It might seem weird for a kid to see her grandma as her best friend but that is just who my grandma was. It’s rare for a grandparent-grandchild relationship to be so essential and long lasting, but then again grandma was an exceptional person who loved and cared so deeply. She was present in my life in every tangible way and although I saw her as my best friend I also saw her as an additional parent, somebody who I could always count on. I would be thrilled every time I saw her car picking me up from school or anytime my dad told me he had a shoot out of town and I was going to grandmas. During the summers I would spend almost everyday up at her house, spending hours in the pool as she would sit in the lounge chairs and judge my underwater handstands or my water ballet dance which I’m sure looked more like a fish out of water but she would still rate it a 10 out of 10 and when I was lucky she would join me in the pool or just simply sit at the edge, her feet in the water and talk to me about anything and everything. Our routine would then be to go dry off and go to the grocery store where she would get me all the fun treats I would never get at home and we would go home and cozy up in the freezing cold AC where she would tuck me in under the blankets on the couch and we would debate what we would watch, I usually would win and we would end up watching disney channel and she would sit across from me reading. We would go get pedicures, or have spa nights at home where she would then make me a cup of tea and tuck me into her bed, regardless if grandpa was home. Looking back I do feel a little bad we would make grandpa sleep in the guest room. Although she would build a wall of pillows because I guess in my sleep I would try to cuddle up next to her and although she loved me she did not love my freezing cold toes. Although I could go on and on about how great of a grandma she was, I don't want to stand here today and act like I am the only one she cared for on such a deep level. It didn't matter if you weren't her child or even if you were blood, she cared and loved so deeply. I have heard many stories about how she at times acted as a surrogate mother to whoever needed it. That was her nature, protective, compassionate, caring and generous. I am sure many of you here today can remember a time where she took you in, whether that be in a literal sense or not. I urge you all to think about a time where my grandma helped you or was simply there for you. I ask this because I know it has at times been hard for me to not let these past Alzheimer’s filled years impact my memories of her but we all need to remember she was much much more than Alzheimer's. 65 plus years of life so we cannot let these past 10 alter our past memories of her. She would not want to be pitied or treated like less of a person because of this horrible disease. If she were here today she would tell us to celebrate her life and the beautiful time we were able to share with her. Even in these past few years where things got hard we all had to hold on to the little moments. Even towards the end there would be those random moments where she would still call me Avi Mae and even when she didn't recognize me there was a love that never left. Even being with her on her last day, as difficult as it was,  we could all feel the love she felt towards us and how it never left.

Makeup party