Foggy Communication

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You may have heard about a lack of communication - about the other person of course! I have heard it in business settings and personal settings. I have taken this issue on more than once in my seventy six years. It may be my issue of a life-time. It is my obstacle to being a better lover - better love in my personal life - better love in the world.

One of my big agreements with myself is ‘LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND SEPARATE REALITIES’. A phrase in the Simple Prayer, which I recite daily, is Do not seek so much to be understood, but to understand. This is easier said then done, for me anyway. What is it that makes a good communicator? How can I improve?

i have been told I am a good listener. I have been told I am a poor listener. What makes the difference? I am foggy on what to do to be a good communicator - to be a great communicator.

Some thoughts to throw out there, that I am working on, are: Do not interrupt, even if I disagree - wait, wait, wait, remember, remember, remember. Do not assume - confirm my understanding - confirm, confirm, confirm. No yelling - It is not respectful, nor beneficial - rather, discuss, discuss, discuss - calmly. Respect the other’s thoughts, opinions, comments - respect, respect, respect. Focus on the party I am communicating with. Do not distract yourself with phones, setting, looking away. Connect with the other’s eyes - look within. Focus. Focus. Focus.

I have noticed, more frequently with women than men, (I dislike generalities, even though I sometimes use them} that they seem to be revetted to the eyes in whom they communicate with - this is the focus I talk about. Nothing seems to divert their attention. I love it. I wish for it.

I believe that Don Miguel Ruiz in his book The Four Agreements has words to assist me with better communication. I need to read it again. The four agreements, statements, he talks about are: Be Impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personal. Don’t assume. Do your best. How can one argue with these. Implement. Implement. Implement.

Superior Fog