Patty... today

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Patty is lucid... sometimes, but not today. 

Patty, A Pecious Moment

Patty is pictured here on June 20th, after granddaughter, Avi,  encouraged and assisted her in showering, shampooing and dressing with fresh summer-like cloths - something I have not been able to get Patty to do.

Now... today - Patty should not be left alone. She does not want to be alone. The problem is - Patty doesn't recognize the need for outside help and is offended by the mention of it. In my attempt to bring in aide she made a stink and told them to leave.

Really, it is not Patty that needs help, it is me. I have been leaving her alone for an hour or two while I tend to the farm - close by, but now, too far away.  She wonders to the other half of the multi-generational home where Jessica already has her hands full with a toddler and a new born. Yes, Patty now needs full time watching and assisting. She doesn't recognize it, but I now do.

Patty says "I'm (speaking about herself) not in a good place today. I'm totally out of wack. I don't know what is going on". She doesn't relate to Alzheimer's - at least her having Alzheimer's. She says "where are we?" She said once she thought we may be on temporary duty with the army or some non-profit, and that we would be going home soon. She twice wondered who I was, and is now frequently asking questions about who are family. The longer term memory has been good, up until now. She moved one more step down stream and it is now serious - I can't just run out for an hour or two. What do I do? I have to force the issue about outside help or go on TDY for real, 24/7

Patty said "I don't know rather to cry or scream", when she was feeling most out of sorts. I now feel the same - I don't know rather to cry or scream.